This “Positive Ideas” news letter goes out once a week or so
to about 750 friends and colleagues around the USA and in various locations overseas.
Tom O’Connor
The Tom O’Connor Group, LLC
Economic and Management Consultants A Veteran-Owned Company
Tom
571 332 2349
781 626 6667 international www.TomOConnorGroup.com
Look for us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest
Security does not exist in nature nor do the children of man as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure to danger.
Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing.
~Helen Keller …with a few edits
“When you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it.
That factor is attitude.”
~ Timothy Bentley
An excerpt from To a Child, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E
by Mac Anderson
In the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little half-windows. Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here.
It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover. Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness.
Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son’s childhood. He could not recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did Elizabeth always save the children’s old junk? he wondered, shaking his white head.
Opening the yellowed pages, he glanced over a short reading, and his lips curved in an unconscious smile. Even his eyes brightened as he read the words that spoke clear and sweet to his soul. It was the voice of the little boy who had grown up far too fast in this very house, and whose voice had grown fainter and fainter over the years. In the utter silence of the attic, the words of a guileless six-year-old worked their magic and carried the old man back to a time almost totally forgotten.
Entry after entry stirred a sentimental hunger in his heart like the longing a gardener feels in the winter for the fragrance of spring flowers. But it was accompanied by the painful memory that his son’s simple recollections of those days were far different from his own. But how different?
Reminded that he had kept a daily journal of his business activities over the years, he closed his son’s journal and turned to leave, having forgotten the cherished photo that originally triggered his search. Hunched over to keep from bumping his head on the rafters, the old man stepped to the wooden stairway and made his descent, then headed down a carpeted stairway that led to the den.
Opening a glass cabinet door, he reached in and pulled out an old business journal. Turning, he sat down at his desk and placed the two journals beside each other. His was leather-bound and engraved neatly with his name in gold, while his son’s was tattered and the name Jimmy had been nearly scuffed from its surface. He ran his finger over the letters, as though he could restore what had been worn away with time and use.
As he opened his journal, the old man’s eyes fell upon an inscription that stood out because it was so brief in comparison to other days. In his own neat handwriting were these words:
Spent the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn’t catch a thing.
With a deep sigh and a shaking hand, he took Jimmy’s journal and found the boy’s entry for the same day, June 4. Large scrawling letters, pressed deeply into the paper, read:
Went fishing with my Dad. Best day ever.
…with a few edits
I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
– Wayne Gretzky
“Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm.” – Harry Truman
“Nothing can stop the person with the right mental attitude from achieving the goal; nothing on earth can help the person with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson
“A Dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you’re willing to pay that price.” – Vince Lombardi
Look for us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest
“Reaching one’s maximum potential is built on respect for the individual, and a commitment to excellence.”
~ Buck Rodgers, IBM …with a few edits
Where we love is home,
our feet may leave, but our hearts remain.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes …with a few edits
I realized early on that success was tied to not giving up.
Most people in this business gave up and went on to other things.
If you simply don’t give up, you outlast the people who came in on the bus with you.
~Harrison Ford …Star Wars, Indiana Jones, etc.
The most effective way to do it, is to do it.
-Amelia Earhart
DREAMING CASTLES IN THE AIR
By Ton Pascal …with a few edits
Dreaming castles in the air certainly beats doing physical construction work, but if you are serious about bringing your dreams to completion, or if you are dreaming of a positive change in your life, you must get going; roll up your sleeves ready to do some work. Daydreams are nice, and they can enliven your daily life, but by themselves they are a weak source of energy. There is something called the Law of Attraction that has been around since the creation of the universe which has a lot do with bringing the dreams you have to fruition. You can either take my word for it here, or you can search and learn more about it on the Internet.
As I just mentioned, even with the incredible power of the Law of Attraction working for you, sitting and waiting will not make your dreams come true. This great power only works when you do your part and truly believe in what you are wishing for.
From the very first day we were kicked out of Paradise, we have been relentlessly seeking the formula for the secret to true success. Everyone has their own opinions of what success is all about. Although there is no clear-cut formula on how to achieve this, I have a few tips on how to dream and live a successful life, which I hope will work for the majority of you. Don’t get too ambitious. Take it easy, like the line in the classic Cat Steven’s song “Miles from nowhere, I think I will take my time to reach there.”
Some of us might be very ‘cerebral’ and dislike physical preparation work. Others need to see a visual point of reference in order for their minds to function effectively. Either way, dreaming castles in the air is not a clear enough goal to ensure success. I suggest starting with a visual map of your intentions. Take a piece of cardboard and on write your dream in bold letters at the top. For example, “I want this house!” Or “I want this job!” Write down whatever you want in your life. Now cut out pictures from magazines, newspapers and or photos related to your dream-wish and paste them on this board. These images should clearly show your dream goal.
On the left side of this ‘Map-board’ write the steps needed to achieve this goal. For example if it is a house you want and you don’t have money, write down “I want this house”. How do you find money? Despite the highly publicized recession this is a lot of if going around. Focus on your main objective: Your Dream House! If you truly believe you deserve and want it, you will get it. Think about what you can work on, sell or save? Make a realistic plan on how to achieve this goal. Write this plan on the ‘Map-board’.
Create a set of positive affirmations for this task. If we stay with the example for “finding money”, the affirmation could be something like “Wealth is pouring into my life.” Or “I am making amazing progress towards all of my goals.”
These affirmations are your psychological support. The positive attitude to attaining your dream gives you a new and clearer purpose in life. It will help turn your dream intentions into reality. Think about this dream very clearly and visualize it already realized, that you have achieved your dream house, or have your dream job.
If your dream is to get someone into your life, a partner, or a lover, you won’t find him or her by staying at home. Write down, for example, “find a partner”, then on the left side of the ‘map-board’ write an action step like, “get out and socialize”. Whatever your dream is, write down the name of specific goal, and then the main road to get there. Visualize your goals and create positive affirmations for every step of the way towards achieving them. Give yourself time. It is your life you are creating, be patient. Don’t expect instant success. Give yourself time. This is your dream life you are creating, not a Hollywood movie.
Whatever age you are, you have acquired a certain living knowledge of what is good or bad for you. Apply to your life what you have learned up until now, but add to it your own individuality, personality, and joy de vivre. It is not just being alive that makes your life worth living, but rather the depth and sense you bring to your life.
Go beyond your limitations. Take a look at some of the great people who made an incredible impact in the world when they were told that either they were too poor, too inexperienced, too unattractive, or too weak to make it as a success in life. Terry Fox, one leg cancer amputee crisscrossed a continent on foot. Claude Monet slowly became blind from cataracts but still painted his masterwork The Nynpheas. Marlee Matlin, deaf from the age of 18 month, won the Best Actress Academy Award in 1986 for her debut performance in “Children of a Lesser God. Helen Keller, blind and deaf, became a noted speaker, author and crusader for pacifism, women’s right to vote and birth control. The list is very long.
Remember to do your daily affirmations and think positive. A positive attitude will greatly influence your actions and add pleasure and quality time to your life.
Considering that life is short my advice is: follow your heart, break rules that limit or confine you, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh often, and never regret anything that made you smile.
Ton Pascal
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ton Pascal is a self-thought self-help advocate and author. Your thoughts and dreams will provide for you a rich, meaningful and abundant life; this is the Law of Attraction at work. It will enable you to create the map of your life’s journey. It is not just being alive that makes life worth living, but the depth and sense you bring to your life. http://www.dreamyourlifepositively.com/
It has been over 236 years since 56 brave men signed their names to the Declaration of Independence, proclaiming that the 13 original American Colonies were no longer willing to live under tyrannical British rule.
Those men, among them some of the most notable names in American history, risked their own safety and that of their families by signing the document; they were still in the earliest stages of a war against an enemy that outgunned them and was better trained. By signing their names to the very spirit of Patriotism, the men risked being hanged in the event of defeat.
But they were not alone. Thousands of the signers’ fellow countrymen had already taken up arms against the British in the name of American Independence. Seven bloody years after the signing of the Declaration and eight bloody years after the initial shots at Lexington and Concord, a new, free, republican Nation was born.
Those 56 who risked their lives by signing their names to a document that declared in no uncertain terms that they meant to create a better place where freedom reigned supreme might have trouble recognizing their Nation today. Given the state of political discourse and the tendency for bureaucracy to destroy freedom in order to increase centralized power, the Federal government has effectively come to represent much of what those men disdained in the Declaration.
Take the time to read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety. For a thorough historical background and to better understand the Declaration’s signers, read They Signed for Us which was written by Merle Sinclair and Annabel Douglas McArthur and first published in 1957. If you have a little more time, visit readthedeclaration.com to request a free copy of the Declaration and the Constitution and add your name to the list of Americans who read the founding documents over the holiday. To top it all off, write a letter to your Senators and Representatives to let them know that you agree with the principles your Nation was founded upon, and request that they legislate accordingly.
“We Are Spartacus
We can each stand up for basic human freedom.
by Kirk Douglas …with a few edits
When you reach 95, as I have, after you get over your surprise, you start looking back. I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents, Russian immigrants who came to this country in 1912 – exactly one hundred years ago.
For them, the United States was a dream beyond description. They couldn’t read or write, but they saw a better life for their children in a new country half a world away from their tiny shtetl.
Against all odds they crossed the Atlantic. And like millions of people before and after, they passed close to the Statue of Liberty as they entered New York Harbor. Perhaps someone who could read English translated the beautiful words of Emma Lazarus, etched in bronze on the pedestal:
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
What would my parents think about America if they arrived here today? Would they even want to come? I wonder.
A century ago, America was a beacon of hope to the world. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were ideals not clichés. Any boy could still grow up to be president. Today, few boys–or girls, for that matter–dream of that. The American dream has become about quick fame and easy fortune, not public service and hard work.
I know something about this. I have been an actor for most of my life. When I started out, I didn’t think about anything except what was good for me. Like many movie stars, I became all wrapped up in myself. When I threw off the wrappings, I wrapped myself in the character I was playing.
My change came suddenly when I heard these words spoken by President Kennedy in his Inaugural Address in 1961:
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
It was a moment of clarity for me – like somebody had flipped a switch and the lights came on.
I had been lucky. Fame is as much about luck as it is about talent, perhaps more. My luck hadn’t come without a lot of hard work, but I now realized that it carried a responsibility along with it. JFK’s call to conscience made me understand that.
His words also reminded me of something my mother taught me.
For years we lived in a little town called Amsterdam, New York. We had a house near the carpet mills and the railroad tracks. We were very poor and often didn’t have enough to eat. Although we had nothing to spare, the hobos from the trains still came knocking on our door in the evening, asking for food. It scared me to look at them–disheveled, dirty. My mother was never frightened. Somehow she always found a little extra food to give them.
Then she said something I never forgot: “Issur,”–that was my name then–”even a beggar must give to another beggar who needs it more than he does.”
The fight against oppression and tyranny depicted in Spartacus is still going on all over the globe from Syria to Egypt to Iran.
I was an American movie star whose pictures were seen all around the world. This gave me the opportunity to do something for my country that most Americans couldn’t do. So I became an Ambassador of Goodwill for the State Department and traveled to 40 countries talking about America. I wasn’t viewed as a Democrat or a Republican. They only saw me as an American. By the way, I paid all my own expenses–I didn’t want anyone to say that Kirk Douglas traveled abroad on the taxpayers’ dime.
But you do not need to be a movie star to stand up for basic human freedom. The fight against oppression and tyranny depicted in Spartacus is still going on all over the globe from Syria to Egypt to Iran. Even the Russians are once again facing the threat of a popular uprising.
I believe much of the divisiveness in the world is caused by religious fanaticism, even in the time of Spartacus when they worshiped many gods. As you study history, you find that millions of people have been killed because of religious divisions based on false orthodoxy, not genuine spirituality.
After 95 years on this planet, I have come to the conclusion that the human spirit can never be crushed, no matter how cruel the oppressor or fanatic the belief. If we remember that simple truth–and act on it every day in small ways and sometimes in large movements–then freedom will ultimately win.
We are all Spartacus.
The start is what stops most people.
~Don Shula
Former NFL Coach
Far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they choose to live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
– Theodore Roosevelt ….with a few edits
Defeat is temporary, giving up makes it permanent.”
– Marilyn Von Savant …with a few edits
When we do the best we can,
we never know what miracle occurs in our life, or in the life of another.
— Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer
Sustained effort – not strength or intelligence –
is the key to realizing our potential.
~Sir Winston Churchill …with a few edits
If you believe in yourself and have courage, determination, dedication, and competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice for things that are worthwhile, anything can be done.
– Vince Lombardi …with a few edits
At a Costa Rica Rain Forest
Thanks for the good you are doing today
And the prayers you are saying today,
Particularly the prayers for those
Going in harm’s way on your behalf.
Move forward …resolute and confident.
Tom O’Connor
The Tom O’Connor Group
Economic and Management Consultants
A Veteran-Owned Company
Tom 571 332 2349
Look for us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest
“Reaching one’s maximum potential is built on respect for the individual, and a commitment to excellence.”
~ Buck Rodgers, IBM …with a few edits
Where we love is home,
our feet may leave, but our hearts remain.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes …with a few edits
I realized early on that success was tied to not giving up.
Most people in this business gave up and went on to other things.
If you simply don’t give up, you outlast the people who came in on the bus with you.
~Harrison Ford …Star Wars, Indiana Jones, etc.
The most effective way to do it, is to do it.
-Amelia Earhart
DREAMING CASTLES IN THE AIR
By Ton Pascal …with a few edits
Dreaming castles in the air certainly beats doing physical construction work, but if you are serious about bringing your dreams to completion, or if you are dreaming of a positive change in your life, you must get going; roll up your sleeves ready to do some work. Daydreams are nice, and they can enliven your daily life, but by themselves they are a weak source of energy. There is something called the Law of Attraction that has been around since the creation of the universe which has a lot do with bringing the dreams you have to fruition. You can either take my word for it here, or you can search and learn more about it on the Internet.
As I just mentioned, even with the incredible power of the Law of Attraction working for you, sitting and waiting will not make your dreams come true. This great power only works when you do your part and truly believe in what you are wishing for.
From the very first day we were kicked out of Paradise, we have been relentlessly seeking the formula for the secret to true success. Everyone has their own opinions of what success is all about. Although there is no clear-cut formula on how to achieve this, I have a few tips on how to dream and live a successful life, which I hope will work for the majority of you. Don’t get too ambitious. Take it easy, like the line in the classic Cat Steven’s song “Miles from nowhere, I think I will take my time to reach there.”
Some of us might be very ‘cerebral’ and dislike physical preparation work. Others need to see a visual point of reference in order for their minds to function effectively. Either way, dreaming castles in the air is not a clear enough goal to ensure success. I suggest starting with a visual map of your intentions. Take a piece of cardboard and on write your dream in bold letters at the top. For example, “I want this house!” Or “I want this job!” Write down whatever you want in your life. Now cut out pictures from magazines, newspapers and or photos related to your dream-wish and paste them on this board. These images should clearly show your dream goal.
On the left side of this ‘Map-board’ write the steps needed to achieve this goal. For example if it is a house you want and you don’t have money, write down “I want this house”. How do you find money? Despite the highly publicized recession this is a lot of if going around. Focus on your main objective: Your Dream House! If you truly believe you deserve and want it, you will get it. Think about what you can work on, sell or save? Make a realistic plan on how to achieve this goal. Write this plan on the ‘Map-board’.
Create a set of positive affirmations for this task. If we stay with the example for “finding money”, the affirmation could be something like “Wealth is pouring into my life.” Or “I am making amazing progress towards all of my goals.”
These affirmations are your psychological support. The positive attitude to attaining your dream gives you a new and clearer purpose in life. It will help turn your dream intentions into reality. Think about this dream very clearly and visualize it already realized, that you have achieved your dream house, or have your dream job.
If your dream is to get someone into your life, a partner, or a lover, you won’t find him or her by staying at home. Write down, for example, “find a partner”, then on the left side of the ‘map-board’ write an action step like, “get out and socialize”. Whatever your dream is, write down the name of specific goal, and then the main road to get there. Visualize your goals and create positive affirmations for every step of the way towards achieving them. Give yourself time. It is your life you are creating, be patient. Don’t expect instant success. Give yourself time. This is your dream life you are creating, not a Hollywood movie.
Whatever age you are, you have acquired a certain living knowledge of what is good or bad for you. Apply to your life what you have learned up until now, but add to it your own individuality, personality, and joy de vivre. It is not just being alive that makes your life worth living, but rather the depth and sense you bring to your life.
Go beyond your limitations. Take a look at some of the great people who made an incredible impact in the world when they were told that either they were too poor, too inexperienced, too unattractive, or too weak to make it as a success in life. Terry Fox, one leg cancer amputee crisscrossed a continent on foot. Claude Monet slowly became blind from cataracts but still painted his masterwork The Nynpheas. Marlee Matlin, deaf from the age of 18 month, won the Best Actress Academy Award in 1986 for her debut performance in “Children of a Lesser God. Helen Keller, blind and deaf, became a noted speaker, author and crusader for pacifism, women’s right to vote and birth control. The list is very long.
Remember to do your daily affirmations and think positive. A positive attitude will greatly influence your actions and add pleasure and quality time to your life.
Considering that life is short my advice is: follow your heart, break rules that limit or confine you, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh often, and never regret anything that made you smile.
Ton Pascal
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ton Pascal is a self-thought self-help advocate and author. Your thoughts and dreams will provide for you a rich, meaningful and abundant life; this is the Law of Attraction at work. It will enable you to create the map of your life’s journey. It is not just being alive that makes life worth living, but the depth and sense you bring to your life. http://www.dreamyourlifepositively.com/
It has been over 236 years since 56 brave men signed their names to the Declaration of Independence, proclaiming that the 13 original American Colonies were no longer willing to live under tyrannical British rule.
Those men, among them some of the most notable names in American history, risked their own safety and that of their families by signing the document; they were still in the earliest stages of a war against an enemy that outgunned them and was better trained. By signing their names to the very spirit of Patriotism, the men risked being hanged in the event of defeat.
But they were not alone. Thousands of the signers’ fellow countrymen had already taken up arms against the British in the name of American Independence. Seven bloody years after the signing of the Declaration and eight bloody years after the initial shots at Lexington and Concord, a new, free, republican Nation was born.
Those 56 who risked their lives by signing their names to a document that declared in no uncertain terms that they meant to create a better place where freedom reigned supreme might have trouble recognizing their Nation today. Given the state of political discourse and the tendency for bureaucracy to destroy freedom in order to increase centralized power, the Federal government has effectively come to represent much of what those men disdained in the Declaration.
Take the time to read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety. For a thorough historical background and to better understand the Declaration’s signers, read They Signed for Us which was written by Merle Sinclair and Annabel Douglas McArthur and first published in 1957. If you have a little more time, visit readthedeclaration.com to request a free copy of the Declaration and the Constitution and add your name to the list of Americans who read the founding documents over the holiday. To top it all off, write a letter to your Senators and Representatives to let them know that you agree with the principles your Nation was founded upon, and request that they legislate accordingly.
“We Are Spartacus
We can each stand up for basic human freedom.
by Kirk Douglas …with a few edits
When you reach 95, as I have, after you get over your surprise, you start looking back. I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents, Russian immigrants who came to this country in 1912 – exactly one hundred years ago.
For them, the United States was a dream beyond description. They couldn’t read or write, but they saw a better life for their children in a new country half a world away from their tiny shtetl.
Against all odds they crossed the Atlantic. And like millions of people before and after, they passed close to the Statue of Liberty as they entered New York Harbor. Perhaps someone who could read English translated the beautiful words of Emma Lazarus, etched in bronze on the pedestal:
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
What would my parents think about America if they arrived here today? Would they even want to come? I wonder.
A century ago, America was a beacon of hope to the world. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were ideals not clichés. Any boy could still grow up to be president. Today, few boys–or girls, for that matter–dream of that. The American dream has become about quick fame and easy fortune, not public service and hard work.
I know something about this. I have been an actor for most of my life. When I started out, I didn’t think about anything except what was good for me. Like many movie stars, I became all wrapped up in myself. When I threw off the wrappings, I wrapped myself in the character I was playing.
My change came suddenly when I heard these words spoken by President Kennedy in his Inaugural Address in 1961:
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
It was a moment of clarity for me – like somebody had flipped a switch and the lights came on.
I had been lucky. Fame is as much about luck as it is about talent, perhaps more. My luck hadn’t come without a lot of hard work, but I now realized that it carried a responsibility along with it. JFK’s call to conscience made me understand that.
His words also reminded me of something my mother taught me.
For years we lived in a little town called Amsterdam, New York. We had a house near the carpet mills and the railroad tracks. We were very poor and often didn’t have enough to eat. Although we had nothing to spare, the hobos from the trains still came knocking on our door in the evening, asking for food. It scared me to look at them–disheveled, dirty. My mother was never frightened. Somehow she always found a little extra food to give them.
Then she said something I never forgot: “Issur,”–that was my name then–”even a beggar must give to another beggar who needs it more than he does.”
The fight against oppression and tyranny depicted in Spartacus is still going on all over the globe from Syria to Egypt to Iran.
I was an American movie star whose pictures were seen all around the world. This gave me the opportunity to do something for my country that most Americans couldn’t do. So I became an Ambassador of Goodwill for the State Department and traveled to 40 countries talking about America. I wasn’t viewed as a Democrat or a Republican. They only saw me as an American. By the way, I paid all my own expenses–I didn’t want anyone to say that Kirk Douglas traveled abroad on the taxpayers’ dime.
But you do not need to be a movie star to stand up for basic human freedom. The fight against oppression and tyranny depicted in Spartacus is still going on all over the globe from Syria to Egypt to Iran. Even the Russians are once again facing the threat of a popular uprising.
I believe much of the divisiveness in the world is caused by religious fanaticism, even in the time of Spartacus when they worshiped many gods. As you study history, you find that millions of people have been killed because of religious divisions based on false orthodoxy, not genuine spirituality.
After 95 years on this planet, I have come to the conclusion that the human spirit can never be crushed, no matter how cruel the oppressor or fanatic the belief. If we remember that simple truth–and act on it every day in small ways and sometimes in large movements–then freedom will ultimately win.
We are all Spartacus.
The start is what stops most people.
~Don Shula
Former NFL Coach
Far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they choose to live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
– Theodore Roosevelt ….with a few edits
Defeat is temporary, giving up makes it permanent.”
– Marilyn Von Savant …with a few edits
When we do the best we can,
we never know what miracle occurs in our life, or in the life of another.
— Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer
Sustained effort – not strength or intelligence –
is the key to realizing our potential.
~Sir Winston Churchill …with a few edits
If you believe in yourself and have courage, determination, dedication, and competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice for things that are worthwhile, anything can be done.
– Vince Lombardi …with a few edits
At a Costa Rica Rain Forest
Thanks for the good you are doing today
And the prayers you are saying today,
Particularly the prayers for those
Going in harm’s way on your behalf.
Move forward …resolute and confident.
Tom O’Connor
The Tom O’Connor Group
Economic and Management Consultants
A Veteran-Owned Company
Tom 571 332 2349
Look for us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest
“Reaching one’s maximum potential is built on respect for the individual, and a commitment to excellence.”
~ Buck Rodgers, IBM …with a few edits
Keep Calm and Carry On
--British World War II poster
“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games.
On 26 occasions I was entrusted to take the game winning shot… and I missed.
I have failed over and over in my life and then tried again.
That’s how I learned to succeed.”
~Michael JordanPerennial All Star and Member of the USA Olympic “Dream Team”
If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.
~Norman Vincent Peale 1898-1993, Minister and Author
The most effective way to do it, is to do it.
~Amelia Earhart
Sustained effort – not strength or intelligence –
is the key to realizing our potential.
~Sir Winston Churchill …with a few edits
The Story of the Butterfly
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. Gradually a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute
the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It never was able to fly.
The man in his kindness and haste did not understand that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required of the butterfly to get through the openingwas a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that the butterfly could be ready for flight.
Sometimes challenges and struggles are needed in our lives.
Going through life without obstacles could impede us rather than help us.
Without rising to meet challenges, we would not be as strong as we might have been,
and some of us never would fly.
Source: AsAManThinketh.net …with a few edits For a free eBook of James Allen’s classic see: http://www.AsAManThinketh.net
If you believe in yourself
and have courage, determination, dedication, and competitive drive
and if you are willing to sacrifice for things that are worthwhile,
When I started high school I had a couple of friends. However, they ditched me and found new friends. I was never alone like that and I didn’t know how to get around, socially. I had no friends and I was very shy. At some point I thought I wasn’t good enough for friends, while my old friends made new ones. I’m going into tenth grade now and I’m still struggling a lot and I feel really insecure. How do I face my fears?
Imagine Little House on the Prairie. Close your eyes and let the image fill your brain: small town, small community, tiny one-room schoolhouse with about 15 kids in it…. Have you got the picture? You can open your eyes now: you’ve just experienced my high school.
Yup, growing up in Memphis, Tennessee, The Yeshiva of the South was a tiny brick house with 14 girls in the entire high school (my grade was the largest grade, coming in at a whopping SIX girls!) The boys’ school was a completely separate entity, with a grand total of TWO boys in the whole school. (When they both graduated one year, one was valedictorian and one was salutatorian. It was a win-win situation.)
Needless to say, it happened to be that none of the 14 girls were really suitable soul-mates for me, so I spent my entire high school career without a best friend in school. So I understand what you’re going through. I’m so sorry you feel lonely. I think loneliness is the most difficult life challenge to endure. But what can you do about it? Well, from my own personal experience in high school I learned a lot.
First of all, I learned how to cobble together a social life for myself. Because none of the girls in my school were going to work as my best friend, I was friendly with them, but not super-close with them, and not exclusively friends with them. I found other friends in other places, and each one of my different friends understood and could relate to a different piece of me.
My “semi-friends” in school were the people I spent all day with, and we shared on the level of “we are in the same school together.” Then I had a friend who understood my deep love of books. But she wasn’t the same friend who I could really have a fun time with and talk to about life. And that latter friend didn’t go to my school, so she didn’t understand what my days were like, and she didn’t really understand my observant lifestyle and what Shabbos and Kashrus were all about. And then I had the friend who just was my “fun friend.” (My most salient memory of her is driving 80 miles per hour down a dirt road in Arkansas with her in her new car, listening to Steve Winwood’s “Back in the High Life.” As I beg my own children: please, please, please learn from my mistakes so you don’t repeat them! My smart kids have (thank you, Lord!) already assured me that they are fully aware that driving down dirt roads at 80 miles per hour is not an intelligent decision, and they’re not planning on ever doing that—especially not in Arkansas.)
So yes, I was lonely, but I found pieces of what I needed, socially, in many different people. You don’t have to limit your search for a good friend only to the kids who attend your school with you. Perhaps you can find additional “candidates” in your local B’nai Brith, NCSY, or USY chapter, in your synagogue, in summer camp, in extracurricular activities…..
Another thing I learned from trolling around for a friend, instead of just automatically having a friend there for me: the best way to get a friend is to be a friend. Look around, and see whom you might want to become friendly with. Then sincerely show that person your interest in their likes and dislikes and opinions. Ask them what they think about things. Ask them what they like to do. People are touched when others are interested in them and their thoughts and their preferences. And sincerely show them that you like who they are. That’s the best way to begin the process of acquiring that person as a friend.
I’ll tell you another great lesson I learned the summer before seventh grade. I used to be very shy, much as you describe yourself to be. I didn’t just go over to people and start conversations with them, especially not people I didn’t know. But that summer, I decided I didn’t like being shy. It was too isolating, and I felt lonely. I was at sleepaway camp, so there were lots of kids around. I decided to watch, observe, and learn. I watched how outgoing kids behaved. I saw them marching straight up to someone and just laughing and talking to them, and I studied very carefully how they did it. Then, even though I was terrified that someone would say, “Hey, Lauren! You can’t act like that—you’re shy!” I did the same thing. I just marched up to people and started talking and laughing with them. And no one berated me for it! No one said, “Hey! That’s not the way you’re allowed to be!” By practicing and practicing acting gregariously, I became gregarious.
Finally, I’d say the most important lesson of all that I learned from my feeling so lonely in high school was: learning to love myself. Learning to be my own best friend when I couldn’t find someone else appropriate for the job.
Being alone is not what’s difficult; feeling lonely is. Learning to be alone and to be content just by yourself is a beautiful skill to practice and to become adept at. And it’s a skill I’m so grateful I have.
Do you know that now, as an adult, even though I have friends, I really enjoy being alone, too? I make sure to schedule time to be with friends, and I also make sure to schedule time every day just to be alone. It’s a wonderful feeling to love yourself and to enjoy the company of your own thoughts.
You’re welcome to look for friends, but don’t forget the best friend who will always be there for you—yourself.
A day will never be any more than what you make of it. Practice being a “doer”!
~Josh S. Hinds
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.
~Norman Vincent Peale
The big secret in life is that there is no secret.
Whatever your goal, you can get there if you are willing to work. It is called massive action. Action is the gas in the tank. Without your action, the car will neither start nor run.
~Marcy Blochowiak
CEO Marketing Director with World Financial Group
If you believe in yourself and have courage, determination, dedication,
and competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice for things that are worthwhile,
anything can be done. – Vince Lombardi …with a few edits
_________________________________________________
Barbados
Thanks for the good you are doing today
and the prayers you are saying today
Particularly the prayers for those willingly going in harms way, on your behalf,
This “Positive Ideas” news letter is assembled from work selected by Tom O’Connor. It goes out once a week or so to about 600 friends and colleagues around the USA and in various locations overseas.
We have entered the endgame in Syria. That doesn’t mean that we have reached the end by any means, but it does mean that the precondition has been met for the fall of the regime of Syrian President Bashar al Assad. We have argued that so long as the military and security apparatus remain intact and effective, the regime could endure. Although they continue to function, neither appears intact any longer; their control of key areas such as Damascus and Aleppo is in doubt, and the reliability of their personnel, given defections, is no longer certain. We had thought that there was a reasonable chance of the al Assad regime surviving completely. That is no longer the case. At a certain point — in our view, after the defection of a Syrian pilot June 21 and then the defection of the Tlass clan — key members of the regime began to recalculate the probability of survival and their interests. The regime has not unraveled, but it is unraveling
.
The speculation over al Assad’s whereabouts and heavy fighting in Damascus is simply part of the regime’s problems. Rumors, whether true or not, create uncertainty that the regime cannot afford right now. The outcome is unclear. On the one hand, a new regime might emerge that could exercise control. On the other hand, Syria could collapse into a Lebanon situation in which it disintegrates into regions held by various factions, with no effective central government.
The Russian and Chinese Strategy
The geopolitical picture is somewhat clearer than the internal political picture. Whatever else happens, it is unlikely that al Assad will be able to return to unchallenged rule. The United States, France and other European countries have opposed his regime. Russia, China and Iran have supported it, each for different reasons. The Russians opposed the West’s calls to intervene, which were grounded on human rights concerns, fearing that the proposed intervention was simply subterfuge meant to extend Western power and that it would be used against them. The Chinese also supported the Syrians, in part for these same reasons. Both Moscow and Beijing hoped to avoid legitimizing Western pressure based on human rights considerations — something they had each faced at one time or another. In addition, Russia and China wanted the United States in particular focused on the Middle East rather than on them. They would not have minded a military intervention that would have bogged down the United States, but the United States declined to give that to them.
But the Russian and Chinese game was subtler than that. It focused on Iran. As we have argued, if the al Assad regime were to survive and were to be isolated from the West, it would be primarily dependent on Iran, its main patron. Iran had supplied trainers, special operations troops, supplies and money to sustain the regime. For Iran, the events in Syria represented a tremendous opportunity. Iran already held a powerful position in Iraq, not quite dominating it but heavily influencing it. If the al Assad regime survived and had Iranian support to thank for its survival, Syria would become even more dependent on Iran than was Iraq. This would shore up the Iranian position in Iraq, but more important, it would have created an Iranian sphere of influence stretching from western Afghanistan to Lebanon, where Hezbollah is an Iranian ally.
The Russians and Chinese clearly understood that if this had happened, the United States would have had an intense interest in undermining the Iranian sphere of influence — and would have had to devote massive resources to doing so. Russia and China benefitted greatly in the post-9/11 world, when the United States was obsessed with the Islamic world and had little interest or resources to devote to China and Russia. With the end of the Afghanistan war looming, this respite seemed likely to end. Underwriting Iranian hegemony over a region that would inevitably draw the United States’ attention was a low-cost, high-return strategy.
The Chinese primarily provided political cover, keeping the Russians from having to operate alone diplomatically. They devoted no resources to the Syrian conflict but did continue to oppose sanctions against Iran and provided trade opportunities for Iran. The Russians made a much larger commitment, providing material and political support to the al Assad regime.
It seems the Russians began calculating the end for the regime some time ago. Russia continued to deliver ammunition and other supplies to Syria but pulled back on a delivery of helicopters. Several attempts to deliver the helicopters “failed” when British insurers of the ship pulled coverage. That was the reason the Russians gave for not delivering the helicopters, but obviously the Russians could have insured the ship themselves. They were backing off from supporting al Assad, their intelligence indicating trouble in Damascus. In the last few days the Russians have moved to the point where they had their ambassador to France suggest that the time had come for al Assad to leave — then, of course, he denied having made the statement.
A Strategic Blow to Iran
As the Russians withdraw support, Iran is now left extremely exposed. There had been a sense of inevitability in Iran’s rise in the region, particularly in the Arabian Peninsula. The decline of al Assad’s regime is a strategic blow to the Iranians in two ways. First, the wide-reaching sphere of influence they were creating clearly won’t happen now. Second, Iran will rapidly move from being an ascendant power to a power on the defensive.
The place where this will become most apparent is in Iraq. For Iran, Iraq represents a fundamental national security interest. Having fought a bloody war with Iraq in the 1980s, the Iranians have an overriding interest in assuring that Iraq remains at least neutral and preferably pro-Iranian. While Iran was ascendant, Iraqi politicians felt that they had to be accommodating. However, in the same way that Syrian generals had to recalculate their positions, Iraqi politicians have to do the same. With sanctions — whatever their effectiveness — being imposed on Iran, and with Iran’s position in Syria unraveling, the psychology in Iraq might change.
This is particularly the case because of intensifying Turkish interest in Iraq. In recent days the Turks have announced plans for pipelines in Iraq to oil fields in the south and in the north. Turkish economic activity is intensifying. Turkey is the only regional power that can challenge Iran militarily. It uses that power against the Kurds in Iraq. But more to the point, if a country builds a pipeline, it must ensure access to it, either politically or militarily. Turkey does not want to militarily involve itself in Iraq, but it does want political influence to guarantee its interests. Thus, just as the Iranians are in retreat, the Turks have an interest in, if not supplanting them, certainly supplementing them.
The pressure on Iran is now intense, and it will be interesting to see the political consequences. There was consensus on the Syrian strategy, but with failure of the strategy, that consensus dissolves. This will have an impact inside of Iran, possibly even more than the sanctions. Governments have trouble managing reversals.
Other Consequences
From the American point of view, al Assad’s decline opens two opportunities. First, its policy of no direct military intervention but unremitting political and, to a lesser extent, economic pressure appears to be working in this instance. More precisely, even if it had no effect, it will appear that it did, which will enhance the ability of the United States to influence events in other countries without actually having to intervene.
Second, the current situation opens the door for a genuine balance of power in the region that does not require constant American intervention. One of the consequences of the events in Syria is that Turkey has had to reconsider its policy toward countries on its periphery. In the case of Iraq, Turkey has an interest in suppressing the Kurdistan Workers’ Party militants who have taken refuge there and defending oil and other economic interests. Turkey’s strategy is moving from avoiding all confrontations to avoiding major military commitments while pursuing its political interests. In the end, that means that Turkey will begin moving into a position of balancing Iran for its own interests in Iraq.
This relieves the United States of the burden of containing Iran. We continue to regard the Iranian sphere of influence as a greater threat to American and regional interests than Iran’s nuclear program. The decline of al Assad solves the major problem. It also increases the sense of vulnerability in Iran. Depending on how close they are to creating a deliverable nuclear weapon — and our view is that they are not close — the Iranians may feel it necessary to moderate their position.
A major loser in this is Israel. Israel had maintained a clear understanding with the al Assad regime. If the al Assad regime restrained Hezbollah, Israel would have no objection to al Assad’s dominating Lebanon. That agreement has frayed since the United States pushed al Assad’s influence out of Lebanon in 2006. Nevertheless, the Israelis preferred al Assad to the Sunnis — until it appeared that the Iranians would dominate Syria. But the possibility of either an Islamist regime in Damascus or, more likely, Lebanese-style instability cannot please the Israelis. They are already experiencing jihadist threats in Sinai. The idea of having similar problems in Syria, where the other side of the border is the Galilee rather than the Negev, must make them nervous.
But perhaps the most important losers will be Russia and China. Russia, like Iran, has suffered a significant setback in its foreign policy that will have psychological consequences. The situation in Syria has halted the foreign-policy momentum the Russians had built up. But more important, the Russian and Chinese hope has been that the United States would continue to treat them as secondary issues while it focused on the Middle East. The decline of al Assad and the resulting dynamic in the region increases the possibility that the United States can disengage from the region. This is not something the Russians or Chinese want, but in the end, they did not have the power to create the outcome in Syria that they had wanted.
The strategy of the dominant power is to encourage a balance of power that contains threats without requiring direct intervention. This was the British strategy, but it has not been one that the United States has managed well. After the jihadist wars, there is a maturation under way in U.S. strategy. That means allowing the intrinsic dynamic in the region to work, intervening only as the final recourse. The events in Syria appear to be simply about the survival of the al Assad regime. But they have far greater significance in terms of limiting Iranian power, creating a local balance of power and freeing the United States to focus on global issues, including Russia and China.
The Tom O’Connor Group focuses on transportation and logistics. Tom O’Connor has been a principal of the Snavely King organization for more than two decades. Snavely King was organized into two groups during much of this time: The Utilities Group and the Transportation Group. The Transportation Group proposed separating the two groups into two distinct entities operating in a strategic alliance. We are now in the process of implementing the strategic alliance. In accord, The Tom O’Connor Group is now a separate entity in strategic alliance with Snavely King.
An area near Columbus, Ohio was evacuated on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 2:05 a.m. CDT after 16 cars of a Norfolk Southern Railway freight train derailed. NTSB board member Earl F. Weener said the agency had a 12-person team reviewing data from the early-morning derailment on the Norfolk Southern Corp. tracks, north of downtown. Three tank cars each carrying 30,000 gallons of ethanol burned. Nobody aboard the train was injured. Investigators were expected to be in Columbus for up to 10 days. The NTSB said a preliminary report will be issued in about a month but that the full investigation could take a year.
This accident is reminiscent of an accident which also occurred on the Norfolk Southern Railway on January 6, 2005, in Graniteville, South Carolina. That accident involved chlorine and led to a number of actions including a proceeding at the Surface Transportation Board (STB) at which I presented evidence on behalf of the Chlorine Institute.
The following chart summarizes my findings on behalf of the Chlorine Institute.
As Chart I indicates, the five railroads taken as a group reported a significant decrease in casualties, insurance and related costs during the 2003 through 2007 period. Each of the individual railroads except for KCS also reported declines in these costs.
The reported data did not support a conclusion that rail transportation during the 2003 to 2007 study period had led to higher casualties and insurance costs. In fact the opposite result had occurred. The overall costs of casualties and insurance, as reported by the five US Class I railroads decreased significantly during the 2003 to 2007 study period.
My analysis showed that the overall casualties and insurance costs for the four largest US railroads had decreased by 40 percent during the study period. This was before including KCS, the fifth and smallest US Class I railroad. Including the KCS, the total casualties and insurance costs for the five railroads decreased by 37 percent during the 2003 to 2007 study period.
There was a widespread perception at the time that casualties and insurance costs had increased due to transport of hazmat. As the graph and the accompanying testimony showed, the railroads costs associated with casualties and insurance had not increased. In fact those costs had decreased. Even the Norfolk Southern showed a decrease in costs despite the fact that this period included the Graniteville accident which had occurred on the Norfolk Southern during the study period.
“Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
~Amy Bloom
“We all want to be good
The human quest “to be good” drives virtually everything we do.We must distinguish between “material good” and “spiritual good.”
We all want to be good, but it’s not easy. If you ask an evil person and a good person the same question: “Are you a good person?,” who do you think is more likely to say, “I’m good”? The good one or the evil one?
The evil one! He could kick his own mother in the stomach and still think he’s good. You say, “That’s terrible! How could you do such a thing?” He rationalizes and says, “You don’t understand. She asked me to take out the garbage. If I do it, who knows what else she’ll ask for next? This could go on forever!”
As for the good person, he takes out the garbage. But if you would then tell him, “I see you’re a good person,” he says, “No, I’m really not so good. Didn’t you notice that while I was taking out the garbage I kicked my mother in the stomach?”
“What are you talking about? I was watching and you didn’t kick your mother in the stomach!”
“Well, I didn’t actually kick her. But I was grumbling as I carried out the garbage. I wanted my mother to feel bad. I was in the middle of a good book, and if I don’t register my protest, who knows — she might ask me to do it again tomorrow!”
Do you see the difference? The evil person will always say he’s right. He doesn’t bother trying to be good, so he never feels a struggle. He just assumes he’s good.
Whereas the person who really tries to be “good” knows how tough the job is. And he’s always striving for a higher level.
There’s a third type: The fully righteous person, the Tzaddik. He takes out the garbage and says, “It’s my pleasure, Mom. You work so hard to take care of us. So thank you for the opportunity to express my appreciation!”
TWO HEARTS: “WANTS” AND “DESIRES”
The struggle to do good stems from the two conflicting inclinations in every human being. A person has two hearts: one that loves to do the right thing, and one that prefers to be selfish. You need to develop an awareness of the struggle going on inside you. For example:
– You want to use your time effectively, versus you feel like procrastinating.
– You want to eat healthily, versus you feel like chocolate cake.
– You want wisdom, versus you feel like watching TV.
One heart loves to do the right thing, the other prefers to be selfish.
“Want” is for permanence. It is rooted in reality. “Desire” is for the moment, with little regard for future consequence. It is an escape.
This conflict is between your body and your soul. Your eternal soul seeks permanence. It wants to do all the right things: to love humanity, seek justice, be altruistic, sensible, honorable and responsible. Your soul strives to fulfill its potential.
Meanwhile, your body, which is destined for the grave, seeks satisfaction for the moment. Drawn by comfort and effortlessness, it wants to eat, to sleep, to lust.
You know it’s not right to refuse to take out the garbage, and your heart really wants to be good. But your other heart, the heart of desire, would rather stay inside where it’s warm, reading a book in comfort.
Even as you’re reading this, your soul is nudging you: “Pay attention — this will make me great!” But your body contradicts: “All this hard work and concentration is too painful. I was doing just fine the way I was before!”
With every decision, the two hearts clash and create a dilemma.
With every decision, the two hearts clash and create a dilemma. To be triumphant in the battle to be good, you have to focus on your innate desire to be good. Remind yourself each morning that you want to be good, and don’t let that consciousness lay fallow. Make it part of your mindset, and you’ll see an observable effect throughout your day. You’ll make more mature and effective decisions.
DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO HEARTS
It can be very confusing to sort out that which we desire from that which we want.
Ask someone: “Which is more important to you – happiness or money?”
“I’d rather be happy. Just give me basic food, clothing and shelter — and then I’ll gladly take a lot of happiness! After all, what kind of fool wants to be a miserable millionaire?”
“Okay, give me a week and I guarantee to show you how to be happy.”
“Well, that’s an interesting offer… Maybe one day I’ll consider it.”
“Okay, I’ll make you a deal: After one month, if you’ve increased your happiness, I’ll give you a bonus of $10,000.”
Now watch that guy run to you!
Why? Which is more important to him – happiness or money?
Of course, happiness is more important. But that’s just the intellectual understanding of the soul. On the other hand, the body is distracted by the sight of those green stacks of bills!
Bodily desire confuses our thinking. Materialism can look so attractive that we become deluded into thinking that’s what we really want!
Unless you make the effort to distinguish between your wants and your desires, and to clarify which aspect is influencing your actions, then you’re likely to lose valuable opportunities to accomplish your goals.
Get in touch with what the conflict is by asking two simple questions: What do I want to do, versus what do I feel like doing? What you want to do is usually the right thing, whereas what you feel like doing is often what is the most comfortable thing.
The alarm clock goes off in the morning. You want to get out of bed and start your day. But you probably feel like hitting the “snooze button,” and sleeping late. It’s a tug of war. Getting out of bed becomes a moral dilemma!
Whether you win and or lose depends upon which voice is the loudest at the moment of decision: the voice of want, or the voice of desire.
Once you’re aware of the conflict and remember that you’re struggling, you’re able to listen more carefully to the voice of the good heart, and dismiss the voice of the selfish heart.
DEFINE “GOOD”
A proper definition of “good” is the starting point of everything you do in life. Obviously you can’t just invent your own definition of what “good” is. You have to investigate reliable sources, and then analyze which one best describes the human condition and reality.
Be careful! If you don’t work out the definition for yourself, you’ll end up with someone else’s idea of good! You don’t want to be 20 years down the road and realize you bought a bad package.
Unless you work out the definition, you’ll end up with someone else’s idea of good!
In Gaza, the definition of “good” may be someone whose willing to strap a bomb to his belly and detonate it in a crowded Israeli market.
A common Western definition of “good” is financial success. People become pulverized by depression because they’re not successful. “What’s wrong with me, I can’t get a job! I must be bad. Get me a therapist!”
This feeling carries into the way we consume. Our CD collection, our carpets, our fancy cars are one part convenience, two parts status. We want to show off that we fit society’s idea of “good.” (Politely, of course, so people shouldn’t think we’re barbarians!)
Always ask yourself: Am I defining “good” as that which looks good to the fast-food-cable-TV-Hollywood segment of society, or am I defining “good” as that which has real meaning, a deep message, and makes a valuable contribution to society?
If we don’t keep up our guard, then we could end up like those rich-and-famous who are hooked on drugs and plagued by depression. Why is the typical image of a movie-star one who is embroiled in legal disputes, can’t keep a marriage together, and spends countless hours in psychoanalysis?
In Judaism, the definition of good is found in the Torah. It spells out how a good person acts toward his friends, family, and society as a whole.
So keep your definitions straight. And be careful. Society’s definition could end up being your death sentence.
STAND BY YOUR DEFINITION
Once you get your definition down, then you stick with it wherever you go, no matter what you do. Others will always try to change your definition of “good,” especially when it makes them feel bad about themselves. But you must stand by your own definition, even when others mock you for doing so.
Why does someone play Russian roulette? Because he’s afraid of being jeered, of being called a coward. But who’s the real coward? The one without the courage to stand up to those jeers! In the end, instead of living as a coward, he dies as a coward! The ultimate irony: perception defeats reality!
Don’t let go of what you know.
BEING GOOD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LIFE ITSELF
Imagine you’re a successful surgeon. You’re famous, you’re rich, you have a beautiful spouse and marvelous kids. You’re president of your synagogue, and you’ve just been nominated to receive an honorary doctorate from Harvard University. Life is grand!
Now you’re traveling through the Far East with some friends. One night, while your friends are out at a movie, the Secret Police come to your hotel room and say, “Your friends have been identified as dangerous spies. Tell us where they are – or we’ll kill you!” Uh-oh. What do you do?
Of course, turning over your friends is a terrible thing to do. On the other hand, you don’t want to die – and nobody will ever know you finked on your friends. (The Secret Police certainly won’t advertise the episode!) You can still be a successful surgeon, still have your beautiful family, still be rich and famous – and still make it home in time for the Harvard graduation!
Nobody will ever know you betrayed on your friends.
What do you do?
Now let’s up the ante. What if the Secret Police asked you to kill 1,000 children? “Kill 1,000 children and you can go back to the States to your beautiful life.” Do you think you’d ever be able to do such a thing?
No. We simply don’t have what it takes to be evil.
This scenario reveals something very deep in the makeup of every human being: Being good is so important that we’d even be willing to die for it.
Even though this scenario is a bit extreme, it elucidates a crucial principle: If you are willing to give up your life to be “good,” then there can be no higher goal in living than being good!
Now go out and live for it! Harness that force within you!
Pursue wisdom to understand how to be good. Make goodness your goal in living.Be willing to give up everything. Others might call you a fool, but you always win when you do the right thing. You’re not doing anyone any favors by being good, you’re simply doing what the “inner you” wants.
EVERY HUMAN BEING WANTS TO BE GREAT
Our desire to be good is really just the tip of the iceberg. Actually, all of us strive to go beyond “good” – and become “great.”
Nobody wants to be average. Try saying, “I want to be a mediocre.” You can’t get the words out! Because we want to be great, not just good.
Would you want to be the person to discover the cure for cancer or eliminate the threat of nuclear war? Of course! We would all love to rid the world of it’s problems and unite humanity in peace and harmony. That is the Jewish concept of the Messiah. He will put the world back together.
I once asked a class, “Tell me honestly. In the secret, innermost part of your heart, do you harbor the desire to be the Messiah himself?”
The entire class raised their hands.
Now here’s a deep spiritual secret: The soul, the divine spark within each of us, craves to be united with the source of all life – the Almighty God. And for that reason, every human being, underneath it all, would not even feel satisfied being the Messiah. Our soul desires to be like God Himself.
So why don’t we aim for it?
Not because we don’t want to change the world. But because the effort seems too great.
The Torah, our Instructions for Living, provides a way to work toward this. One of the 613 mitzvot is to be like God, to emulate His ways.
We each have the potential to make a significant contribution to society. The Sages teach that everyone is supposed to say, “The whole world was made for me!” This does not mean that you can plunder the property of others. Rather, every individual is responsible for the world. Act accordingly – you’re here to straighten it out.
It’s a lot hard work. But it’s what we truly seek. And in the process, you’re going to become not just good, but great!
WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
Ask any young person today:
“What are the chances of a worldwide atomic war within the next 20 years?”
You’ll get a range of answers. Some will say 90%, some 20%.
How horrifying!
So what are you going to do about it?
“Me? What can I do about it? The president is in charge! But I’m only one person. Who am I?”
In Judaism, we say that if you knew the Almighty Himself was helping you, what would you do about it?Everything!
Well, here’s good news: God is behind you. God says, “If you try, I’ll help you. I want you to straighten out the world.”
It’s an obligation to become great. That is our national mission of “Tikkun Olam,” of repairing the world. If we shirk our responsibility, we’ll have to answer for it one day.
There’s no giving up. You want to be great, you can be great, and you have to be great. So get out there and slug. Harness your powerful desire for greatness. It’s leading you whether you like it or not.
Make the right effort, and God will certainly help you achieve.
It has been 236 years since 56 brave men signed their names to the Declaration of Independence, proclaiming that the 13 original American Colonies were no longer willing to live under tyrannical British rule.
Those men, among them some of the most notable names in American history, risked their own safety and that of their families by signing the document; they were still in the earliest stages of a war against an enemy that outgunned them and was better trained. By signing their names to the very spirit of Patriotism, the men risked being hanged in the event of defeat.
But they were not alone. Thousands of the signers’ fellow countrymen had already taken up arms against the British in the name of American Independence. Seven bloody years after the signing of the Declaration and eight bloody years after the initial shots at Lexington and Concord, a new, free, republican Nation was born.
Those 56 who risked their lives by signing their names to a document that declared in no uncertain terms that they meant to create a better place where freedom reigned supreme might have trouble recognizing their Nation today. Given the state of political discourse and the tendency for bureaucracy to destroy freedom in order to increase centralized power, the Federal government has effectively come to represent much of what those men disdained in the Declaration.
Take the time this Independence Day to read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety. For a thorough historical background and to better understand the Declaration’s signers, read They Signed for Us which was written by Merle Sinclair and Annabel Douglas McArthur and first published in 1957. If you have a little more time, visit readthedeclaration.com to request a free copy of the Declaration and the Constitution and add your name to the list of Americans who read the founding documents over the holiday. To top it all off, write a letter to your Senators and Representatives to let them know that you agree with the principles your Nation was founded upon, and request that they legislate accordingly.
“We Are Spartacus
You do not need to be a movie star to stand up for basic human freedom.
When you reach 95, as I have, after you get over your surprise, you start looking back. I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents, Russian immigrants who came to this country in 1912 – exactly one hundred years ago.
For them, the United States was a dream beyond description. They couldn’t read or write, but they saw a better life for their children in a new country half a world away from their tiny shtetl.
Against all odds they crossed the Atlantic. And like millions of people before and after, they passed close to the Statue of Liberty as they entered New York Harbor. Perhaps someone who could read English translated the beautiful words of Emma Lazarus, etched in bronze on the pedestal:
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
What would my parents think about America if they arrived here today? Would they even want to come? I wonder.
A century ago, America was a beacon of hope to the world. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were ideals not clichés. Any boy could still grow up to be president. Today, few boys–or girls, for that matter–dream of that. The American dream has become about quick fame and easy fortune, not public service and hard work.
I know something about this. I have been an actor for most of my life. When I started out, I didn’t think about anything except what was good for me. Like many movie stars, I became all wrapped up in myself. When I threw off the wrappings, I wrapped myself in the character I was playing.
My change came suddenly when I heard these words spoken by President Kennedy in his Inaugural Address in 1961:
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
It was a moment of clarity for me – like somebody had flipped a switch and the lights came on.
I had been lucky. Fame is as much about luck as it is about talent, perhaps more. My luck hadn’t come without a lot of hard work, but I now realized that it carried a responsibility along with it. JFK’s call to conscience made me understand that.
His words also reminded me of something my mother taught me.
For years we lived in a little town called Amsterdam, New York. We had a house near the carpet mills and the railroad tracks. We were very poor and often didn’t have enough to eat. Although we had nothing to spare, the hobos from the trains still came knocking on our door in the evening, asking for food. It scared me to look at them–disheveled, dirty. My mother was never frightened. Somehow she always found a little extra food to give them.
Then she said something I never forgot: “Issur,”–that was my name then–”even a beggar must give to another beggar who needs it more than he does.”
The fight against oppression and tyranny depicted in Spartacus is still going on all over the globe from Syria to Egypt to Iran.
I was an American movie star whose pictures were seen all around the world. This gave me the opportunity to do something for my country that most Americans couldn’t do. So I became an Ambassador of Goodwill for the State Department and traveled to 40 countries talking about America. I wasn’t viewed as a Democrat or a Republican. They only saw me as an American. By the way, I paid all my own expenses–I didn’t want anyone to say that Kirk Douglas traveled abroad on the taxpayers’ dime.
But you do not need to be a movie star to stand up for basic human freedom. The fight against oppression and tyranny depicted in Spartacus is still going on all over the globe from Syria to Egypt to Iran. Even the Russians are once again facing the threat of a popular uprising.
I believe much of the divisiveness in the world is caused by religious fanaticism, even in the time of Spartacus when they worshipped many gods. As you study history, you find that millions of people have been killed because of religious divisions based on false orthodoxy, not genuine spirituality.
After 95 years on this planet, I have come to the conclusion that the human spirit can never be crushed, no matter how cruel the oppressor or fanatic the belief. If we remember that simple truth–and act on it every day in small ways and sometimes in large movements–then freedom will ultimately win.
We are all Spartacus.
“The start is what stops most people.
~Don Shula Former NFL Coach
“We cannot sow thistles and reap clover.
Nature simply goes by cause and effect.
-Napoleon Hill
““We could take a lesson from the mosquito.
It never waits for an opening — it makes one.”
~ Kirk Kirkpatrick
“Far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor risk much, because they choose to live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt ….with a few edits
Defeat is temporary, giving up makes it permanent.” – Marilyn Von Savant …with a few edits
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out…”
~ Robert Collier
” …life can be nobly inspired and rightly lived when we take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which we set out into new and unknown country, to meet joys, to find comrades, to fight worthy battles.” ~ Annie Besant…with a few edits
Defining Success: Steve Jobs or Bill Gates?
What will you leave behind: an inheritance or a legacy?
Two people stand out as supreme examples of success in our generation.
Steve Jobs and Bill Gates certainly made more money than anyone of us can ever realistically contemplate acquiring. They are paradigms of the entrepreneurial spirit. They reached the pinnacle of wealth, fame and prominence.
Both are men of tremendous achievement. Jobs gave us Apple, and Gates gave us Microsoft. Their brilliance was responsible for stunning technological breakthroughs that have literally changed the world.
While Jobs tragically passed away last year and Gates is thankfully still alive, we could surely assume that both will have earned lasting legacies that will make them be long remembered.
That’s why I found it so incredible to learn what Malcolm Gladwell believes is in store for their memories. To be fair, Gladwell isn’t a prophet and the future may very well prove him greatly mistaken. But it’s certainly worth considering the views of this very influential author of The Tipping Point, Outliers and Blink, whose insights into cultural attitudes have made him a highly respected and influential analyst of contemporary society.
The future will remember tech giants more for what they gave back to society than for what they achieved in business.
As quoted in PC Magazine, Gladwell thinks that 50 years from now Steve Jobs will be no more than a minor footnote in the pages of history; Bill Gates, on the other hand, may well have statues erected in his honor in countries around the globe. The reason for the difference? Jobs was a business genius. He built a company like no other. He left us with incomparable products.
Gates went beyond that. He reached a time in life when making money and creating ever newer software wasn’t as important as the charitable work he could do through his Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. And ultimately that is what gains us the eternal gratitude of generations that follow us.
Gladwell succinctly summarizes it this way: “I believe the future will ultimately remember tech giants more for what they gave back to society than for what they achieved business-wise.”
Gladwell didn’t use the Hebrew term tikun olam as his mantra for life’s purpose. But Jews have long understood that playing a role in rectifying the world and making it a better place for all of mankind is our most important mission.
Success isn’t defined by what we manage to get, but rather by what we are able to give.
And that’s true even if we’re not in a position to start a foundation or to embark upon the kinds of projects that only a billionaire can tackle.
The Debt
A friend of mine, a prominent attorney, shared with me a personal story that inspired him to change his life. While he is financially very well-to-do, his parents were forced to struggle to make a decent livelihood all of their days. His father had a dual career, as rabbi and teacher, which provided him with the economic ability to barely survive. By the standards of our materialistic society which considers the question of “How much is he worth?” to be the same as to ask how much money a person has, one would have had to respond, “not very much.”
A year after his father’s death, my friend went to pay his respects at graveside and to offer prayers in his memory. To his great amazement, a stranger was standing at that very spot, weeping and praying. The man wasn’t a relative or anyone he recognized.
“Are you sure you are at the right grave?” my friend asked.
“Most certainly,” the man responded.
“I am the rabbi’s son,” my friend said. “May I ask the nature of your relationship?”
“Although we’ve never met,” the stranger told him, “I too am the rabbi’s son. Not in a biological sense, of course. I didn’t have that good fortune. But your father was my teacher – and he became my father as well. He cared about me as much as if I were his real son. He taught me Torah with a passion and clarity that no one else ever did. He made me a better person and I will always remember him with great gratitude. When he passed away I made a vow to annually visit and in the presence of his soul express the debt I owe to him.”
I’ve made money, lots and lots of it, but my father made people.
“It was then,” my friend confided to me, his eyes welling with tears, “that I wondered who other than those bound by familial obligations would come to my graveside after I’m gone to give thanks for what my life had meant to them. I’ve made money, lots and lots of it, but my father made people. And it was then that I decided that I would from that day forward commit a significant portion of my time and my funds to make a difference in the lives of others.
“The reason you know me as someone who is philanthropic and who serves a multitude of communal roles is because I decided I desperately want my life to be remembered not by way of leaving an inheritance but rather by leaving a legacy. Like my father, I want my worth to be judged by my values and not by my bank account.”
The turning point in my friend’s life was the moment he wanted to be more like Gates than like Jobs. And whether we have sufficient funds to create a foundation or just the means to give a little bit back to the world into which we were born and from which we derive so much, the true test of our character is always how much we are willing to do to justify the divine gift of our lives.
One of the people I truly admire, a man who is neither rabbi nor teacher but rather a very successful businessman, has a card he hands out to everyone he meets that I find profoundly inspiring. On one side it reads,” What on Earth are you doing for Heaven’s sake?” On the reverse side is his personal credo, “Helping others is the rent we pay to God for the right to live here on Earth.”
We need to remember that legacies are created during our lifetimes. The key to achieving greatness is to be responsible for something that outlives us. Horace Mann put it beautifully when he said, “Be ashamed to die until you have achieved some victory for humanity.” And the Torah commanded us to be concerned with tikun olam, improving the world, not merely as a way to fulfill our responsibility but more significantly as a means of finding immortality.
“I watched my father, a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.My father “
~ Mario Cuomo
“Time = Life,
use your time well and you master life.”
~ Alan Lakein …with a few edits
” We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson…with a few edits
“If setbacks come, accept them as a signal that your plans are not sound enough, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.”
~ Napoleon Hill…with a few edits
If you believe in yourself and have courage, determination, dedication,
and competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice for things that are worthwhile,
anything can be done. – Vince Lombardi…with a few edits
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At work In Barbados
Thanks for the good you are doing today
and the prayers you are saying today
Particularly the prayers for those going in harms way on your behalf.
A single grateful thought toward heaven is a complete prayer.
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out…”
